LIVE: Scouting For Girls - O2 Academy Glasgow - May 4th 2010
Thursday, 06 May 2010
Written by Ross Gilchrist & Louise Henderson
I do not hold shares in Fred Perry, Ben Sherman, Adidas or Abercrombie and Fitch. However, something is giving me the distinct impression that I ought to. The homogenous sea of recurring brands swamps the bar on this fairly nice Tuesday night. There are teenagers, fathers and mothers, mid-twenties perennial party goers and middle-aged dancing barflies. The full gamut of ages. Given that this range gets considerably and unsurprisingly smaller the closer to the stage one gets, it's really no surprise that the safest mix tape in the world plays at a considerable volume. Children sing to the strains of 'Livin' On a Prayer', 'American Idiot', and 'Summer Of 69'; butterflies dance in the liquid glow of the house lights...
My apologies. A security guard scrupulously examines a passport handed to him by a girl failing the 'Think 25' test, while another two guards faux box in a dancing action to the accents of 'Eye Of The Tiger'.
Meanwhile, O2 have supplemented the bar income by adding a, 'Quantum Glass Rental', covering the time and space in which you hold your libation. However, this is somewhat irrelevant, as tonight's set will last an hour and start at 9 o'clock and Scouting For Girls are nothing if not punctual, leaving you little time to drink yourself into a stupor before you fall down the stairs in front of Little Susie's mother.
True, early May is probably the worst time to tour for a band whose chief demographic are the very estrogen fueled, banshee choir situated by the security wall; many of whom will be attending on a school night as the result of some pre-exam bribing on the part of the many parents waiting 'in the car'. Therefore, you could mostly explain why a band with a recent number one has the O2 Academy bare at the back and bare on the balcony.
Before I go any further I must assume that you have an instinct, judging by my tone thus far, of my very biased position. Yet, I must also stipulate that I really feel like poking holes in the material I am about to witness (endure?) is somewhat akin to poking holes in a six foot block of Emmentaler. Despite it's overwhelming and alluring silliness, you can't help but feel that something has been there before you and poked bigger holes than there is cheese to poke holes in. Ahem. So I shall I try, in earnest, to be fair.
Opener 'Heartbeat', falls flat amidst technical difficulties, involving a faulty bass awkwardly married to overbearing and flat backing vocals. Bassist Greg Churchouse is having a bad evening thus far and the band stop, mid song. Massive applause. Frontman Roy Stride fills the potential dead air by saying, 'You never get a bad gig in Glasgow, do you?', buying time with some improvised crowd interaction until the bass is fixed and the band come back in with a jilted chorus before moving on. The audience are mostly oblivious to the foul and eagerly cheer on regardless.
By 'Little Miss Naughty', which contains a backing part fantasia of Gorillaz 'Feel Good Inc', I feel the sound is flat overall. I think that Stride's piano sounds are as thin as a council Casio, until I notice it is a Casio. An upgraded council Casio, but a Casio none the less. Matt Simmons' extra keys are intrusive, Pete Ellard's drums sound weak and Stride and Churchouse are not gelling vocally. However, Churchouse's troublesome bass does sound tight through his little Ashdown fort, so, it could be simply nerves over gear at the early innings. I am trying to be fair.
They plough through some well received 'favourites', including 'James Bond', 'Michaela Strachan (You Broke My Heart)' as well as, 'This Aint A Love Song' all of which move in variants of chord I, chord V, chord VI, chord IV, and a cover which goes chord I, chord V, chord VI, chord IV, in the form of, 'Don't Stop Believe'. Referencing the Glee version by using a choral keyboard pad to simulate a barbershop choir. Touring guitarist Peter Clements effortlessly recreates the most overheard guitar part of the year in a display of, 'musicianship', which will be henceforth absent from the rest of the set. Each song met with the glass breaking, bass-less, squeals that accompany a band comfortable in their adolescent microcosm. It truly is amazing that there is so much mileage in so few chords. It makes me feel good about the security of my PIN number.
Famously harmonically and lyrically witless, the band observe that 'Everybody Wants To Be On TV' , which in the sixties and seventies could have been an honest Warhol-esque admission into the public psyche, but fifty years on in the 21st century it just states the bleeding obvious. It's like Stride was given a copy of Ben Folds Five's, 'Whatever and Ever Amen', and informed by Matthew Hopkins to burn the 'witchcraft' out of it. Leaving a sterile, flaccid, safe-as-a-kit-house piece of wet dross which is about informative or challenging as candy floss. Finishing with the incessantly insipid, 'She's So Lovely', the band do go down very well with the aforementioned banshee choir, but, this is the crux of the argument. Scouting For Girls are shooting for a very particular demographic. They are business minded. I cannot imagine that they would expect a male in the 18-30 bracket, like myself, to become a 'Wolfcub'. They expect to be a gateway band to teens with a disposable income. They rely on fantasia as a device to be exploited for profit. Yes, they are the very definition of 'hack'. That is the problem. Will they keep playing and touring this until it becomes more than a little bit creepy?
Words by Ross Gilchrist - Photos by Louise Henderson
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