Metal Hammer Golden Gods - IndigO2, London - June 16, 2014 (Live Review)

Download, as we all know, is knackering. The Donington festival packs too much beer and brutality into three days for part-timers to handle but, for the the hardiest of souls, the Metal Hammer Golden Gods offer a chance to keep the party going.

Held once again at London’s IndigO2, this year’s revelry was curated by Steel Panther, who had only 24 hours earlier been rocking the faces off a huge crowd at Download’s main stage. The Sunset Strip survivors’ blend of cock rock and dick jokes is puerile, in poor taste and really fucking funny, making them the perfect hosts for an evening of excess. As the arch over the venue’s door implored: “Enter the gloryhole.”

Polish death metal bruisers Behemoth opened the show, burning the house down in an almost literal sense before collecting the evening’s Best Album award for their recent masterpiece, ‘The Satanist’.

Steel Panther were also among the gongs, winning Best Video for Party Like It’s The End Of The World and celebrating by serenading the audience with a series of gentle ballads. Well, maybe not.

While She Sleeps, Black Stone Cherry and a feral Dillinger Escape Plan also took to the stage following sets at Download, as did former wrestler turned rock star Chris Jericho. He commandeered the mic to introduce Iron Maiden, winners of Best British Band, while there were smiles all round for Killswitch Engage members past and present as the metalcore giants scooped Best Live Band and Howard Jones’ Devil You Know won Best New Band.

The award for Best Global Metal Act was won by Israel’s Orphaned Land, who shared the honour with their Palestinian tour-mates and old friends, Khalas. Accepting the award, Orphaned Land’s Kobi Farhi said: “While it takes our leaders six months just to bring themselves to the table and to speak about something called peace, we’re living together in a tour bus and busting our asses. If it’s so easy for us, then what the fuck is the problem, right? I would say that heavy metal definitely shows an example to politicians."

The night was stolen, though, by the winner of the Spirit of Metal award, none other than Dave Prowse, or as he is better known, Darth Vader. He ascended to the stage alongside an army of Storm Troopers and to cheers of ‘Vader, Vader, Vader’, promptly Force choking everyone in the room for their disturbing lack of faith. We jest, of course.

There were also prizes for Misha Mansoor of Periphery, named the Dimebag Darrell Shredder, and Alter Bridge’s Mark Tremonti, who now enjoys the title Riff Lord. Of Mice And Men were honoured as the year’s Breakthrough Act, with Wardruna recognised as Best Underground Band and Avenged Sevenfold, fresh from a star-cementing Download headline set, named Best International Band.

Extreme metal legend Devin Townsend was dubbed King Of The Internet, while there was also tribute paid to some legends of the genre. Hanoi Rocks took the Inspiration award, Michael Schenker the Icon prize and Mikael Åkerfeldt the coveted Golden God. The big screen, meanwhile, recognised the contribution of the dearly departed Dave Brockie of Gwar.

So, see you next year?

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